So yeah... I was depressed for the last few months.
A lot of people say recognizing the fact that you are in a state of depression helps overcome said depression. I think they are full of it. I think realizing that I was acting based upon a depressive state made things worse because I beat myself up more because I knew I was ignoring things or not getting things done because of my depression. It was both depressing and aggravating!
But I said I was depressed.
"You're suddenly not depressed now?"
Yeah. That's about right.
"Isn't that considered a little Bi-Polar?"
SCREW YOU DISEMBODIED VOICE! Sorry... what I meant to say is that it's not being bi-polar, it's just knowing the exact causation of my depression. I'm addicted to my work. Specifically: Magic. Specifically: the act of Performing Magic in front of an audience. When I'm not doing a lot of that, which brings along with it not making very much money (which is a whole different level of my psyche being injured), I get depressed. I think most professional performers face this little emo-swing (At least, I hope so) so I try not to complain too much about it. But it is an inevitable part of the life I've decided to lead.
The upside of this is when you come out of this state, it's like waking up from a really good sleep. You're refreshed, energized, and ready to face the next few months.
This awakening occurred because of my shows at Lyric Hall in New Haven. I came to several realizations thanks to these shows. 1- Snow sucks when it causes me to cancel shows and lose money. I luckily only had to cancel one show because of bad weather, and many people came back for the final day of shows. But aside from that, there were really no downsides to doing this set of shows.
The common responses I got from audience members (including several magicians) aside from the usual positives was that the show was fun and original. The word Fun is commonly heard with magic shows. I think Magic is generally supposed to be fun. Although Magic can really be scary, dramatic, thoughtful, and emotionally impacting- Fun is generally the experience of the ride Magic takes you on in most cases.
The word that stroked my ego a bit was the word Original being used by magicians and non-magicians alike. I think it's not hard to be original with Magic (Although, the number of magicians who can't see past the direction and "included patter" with a trick is staggering). It's hard to be original AND good with Magic. I think I achieved that with this show. My goal is to make Celtic Magic original and great. And I think it's on its way. There were several pieces that really clicked for me, and I was able to overcome a couple of theatrical issues that popped up last minute and ended up being happy accidents. The next incarnation of my show will be even better because of the lessons I've taken in.
The other awesome thing that Celtic Magic did was allow me to work with my wife for the first time, in such an intense way, involving my show. Doing 8 (Okay...7) full evening shows in 4 days is taxing on anyone, especially someone trying to get inside my head artistically speaking. My wife Rachel did that amazingly. And my Head Swag Wench Kim ran lights and my brother Sean ran sound and they did great, too. And working with a small group towards my vision is really how I prefer to do things. I love working with a team and, when the show grows and the team has to grow, I'm going to love that, too.
So now- I'm pumped. And as I sit here typing this up, drinking an Angry Orchard at 2am, with a David Copperfield special open in another browser window, I can't stop thinking about my next creative endeavors. My shows at Wicked Faire with Wyck in Somerset, NJ, the Renaissance Banquet in Stratford, CT, The Midsummer Fantasy Renaissance Faire in Ansonia, CT, and all of the new performance opportunities 2013 will bring.
Alright 2013- LETS DO THIS!!!
Oh... and between shows, this happened:
(It's a FB video so hopefully, you'll be able to see it... and then hopefully for your sake- Unsee it)